He was persecuted, mocked, beaten and crucified yet the first words that He uttered was to ask for forgiveness of those who have caused His suffering. On Christ's way to His death, He gave up His divinity to be fully man; and with that, His first word on the cross puts emphasis on forgiveness; that to forgive is within the bounds of human capacity.

Holding grudges for others is like wishing for the death of the other person while you are the one who is drinking the poison! To forgive is not just to forget but it is also to be freed from the toxins that you yourself are taking. 

I remember one night, I got so pissed off with the insanity of the reality that the ones who caused pain in me is the one who is happy and free. I browsed some photos and all I can see were gleaming and cheerful faces! Urrrrgggh!!! It is unfair!!! How could it be? Where is justice on this? I was the one who suffered, I was the one who was in pain yet I am the one who is in misery and the culprit of these is out there, happy, smiling and free? 

I knew at that time that I was so willing to forgive... IF: 

     1.  I should hear the words "I am sorry" clear and loud

     2. I should see suffering be inflicted to the offender. I have suffered  enough, so the culprit should suffer       more than what I've been through.

Conditional forgiveness. We will forgive, if..... Our list of conditions makes it impossible for us to forgive and to be forgiven. We imbibe too much traits on the things that we see on TV! Remember this famous line: Patatawarin kita, pero humalik ka muna sa paa ko!  :)) 

We lived a life with so much grudges and the blunt reality is... There are people who offended you and will offend you,with them not having any clue that they have inflicted much pain on you. There are also people who are aware of the pain that they have inflicted but could not consider themselves the culprit. Lastly, there are people who are aware of their offense and hold responsible for it yet they are too guilty to ask for forgiveness.  I am so sorry to burst your bubble  but the words "I am sorry" can never be heard from these kind of people. I have waited for these words for so long and all I have reaped was years of bitterness. 

Forgive, not because it is a Christian obligation but it is for your liberation. 

The first words of Jesus on the cross exemplifies forgiveness, when I reflect on His words I felt that Christ is talking to me, "My beloved child, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing".

I read through my journal and flipped the page where I wrote on Christmas Eve:

"Who are the blessed? They are the people who can forgive in spite of their affliction and brokenness, loves even when they are betrayed or taken for granted, do good even when maligned and persecuted, speak the truth in spite  of ridicule and rejection, suffer and sacrifice anything for the cross and for Christ." 

I bumped into this site,  http://www.pinsoflight.org/ ( thanks to a friends who shared this), it is an online Lenten retreat that the Jesuits are sharing to everyone. This site moved me to write this blog. 

Have a Blessed Holy Week!