I grew up considering her a villain. She is  always objective to me, because what I desire to have, she always object.


When I was a kid, I cannot play outside unless I will have my afternoon nap. At 6, I was not allowed to go out unless I will be with my girl playmates. I was not allowed to play rigid games with the boys or else I will be punished. I cannot go swimming in the beach if its mid day.


In grade school, I have to go home from school neat and clean.  I have to study hard and be on top. I joined the swimming team, school paper org, Dance  Troupe, drum and bugle Corp, etc. just because she wants me to. She said that woman should know how to cook so I learned how to cook and bake. 


In highschool, I have to have a goal and work hard for it. I have to value money, so she asked me to bake and sell brownies. I have to finish all errands and household chores before I can go out from the house. I should not be in a relationship and  consider my study as my sole focus.


In college, since she  cannot afford to send me to med school,  she wants me to become  a nurse; so I did and became one. I was not allowed to have any extra curricular activities. I have to set  my eyes on my studies alone, no peripheral vision allowed.




And the list continues...


For how many years, I kept grudges in my heart to a Mom whose standards are so high and who expects a lot from me. To a mother who sets a lot of dos and dont's. At some point I became jealous to my friends whose mother's standards are "que sera sera".


I was so blessed to meet and know the Lord in my teenage years. As I grow deeper in relationship to God, He brings me closer to the one whom He used so I will be born in this world - my Mom.


One night, when I was in deep anger and pain, I cried to God "Lord please change my Mom".
I was like stuck by a lightning when He answered,"Shayne, I am sorry. I cannot change her unless you will change".


I was awakened from a deep slumber, I was like a blind who finally can see.And so I started to examine myself, not just a daughter of God but as a daughter of God's daughter.


I failed to realize that all the Dos and Don't are all for my sake. I failed to realize that I only got reprimanded when I disobey and commit mistakes. I disregard the fact that raising 2 children alone is not easy. I failed to consider that I was not the only one  who grieved when my Dad died. It takes two to tango,I participated in that "strained  relationship" with her.


It took me sometime to acknowledge and accept my mistakes that I habitually did over the past years. It was too hard to change old habits.  The  first sincere "I LOVE YOU MA",  was too awkward and difficult to utter. The first few steps are difficult, but having the courage to take a step forward is a lot easier.






Over the years, the "Electra Complex" was so significant in us, but by the grace of God He changed my heart and with that change, came a conscious decision to be a daughter that my Mom deserves to have.

We all have our stories of strained relationships with our mothers. Yes, they are tough and over reacting most of the time. But most of the time, we barely understand their language of love. We perceive their way of "CARING" as "CRITICISM". That is why we repel from their advice and reminders. Sometimes we demand so much of freedom and we become furious when that freedom is not granted.  What we failed to consider is that  our mothers do not  want us  to go through with the same mistakes they had done in the past. Or they simply wants us to live our lives well.  



Beyond their imperfection, our mothers deserve to be loved and honored, as much as they love us beyond our imperfection. 


They are God's gift to us. Like the air, our mothers are one of the first gifts of the Lord to each one of us. May we take good care of that gift. :D